I was walking around the store the other night in a daze looking for a scented candle. It's been cold and I've been working at home a lot this week, at our kitchen table, because it is warm. I want a fire but I thought a scented candle would do.  There were one million candles. All different prices, few of them pleasing. I wanted to smell a forest (the next day I went to a forest, I think that is what I was actually missing),  I wandered around the candle aisle for too long, circled back, picked up some christmas candy and left. There are already aisles of tinsel and peppermint, wrapping and red and green wrapped everything. My sister has started her annual fruitcake bake. At home, our Halloween decorations are still blowing in the sudden and cold wind. It left me so tired.  

I have mixed feelings at best about gifting and the holidays.

I do love buying art for myself and my partner, sharing my art with friends, and sharing what I do with strangers.

The hardest part of my job isn't making The Thing.  I have no problem sitting down to collage. I have a long list of themes and questions for Keep Writing. I think of collage as a puzzle with infinite solutions. I love writing new classes and adjusting them to better connect with and serve my students. All of that is the easy part.

I struggle to tell people about what I do.

Maybe it doesn't seem that way because here we are, family or friends or strangers and you know what I do.  I struggle to tell the world at large in a way that interests them.  I miss opportunities to tell people who might be interested.  I get tired and burned out and delete social media. Sometimes I worry that what I'm making isn't that interesting or needed but mostly I know I am just a reluctant marketer. The best thing about being in my mid forties is being aware of my shortcomings. I am not a savvy businessperson.

 

I believe in the work I do. I believe we all are creative and can connect to others through making art.  I know this because of the feedback from students after every "I Can't Draw" workshop series. I know this because of the responses I receive each month for Keep Writing.  I know the work I do helps people connect with their creative self.

 

The past year and a half has been a year of transformation for me--some of it unwilling and the rest just trying to adapt.  I've made choices to make my business smarter, more sustainable, and maintain it as my only job.  I don't need a million followers or to tell the whole world what I am doing. I want to tell the people who are interested more about what I sell and what I teach. I invested in business coaching with friend and amazing human Bear Hebert, which has introduced me to lots of great small business owners, struggling with the same problems. 

And I told someone about what I do. 

Someone whose work I appreciate, whose work centers around questions and connection. We were chatting in a social media DM and I did it, I said: here is a thing I do that I think you would like.  

She offered gracious words and I remembered again that there are people who are interested in what I do.

Sound like a pep talk? Yes. It is. I needed one. Social media can be good for some things but it is fast paced and all consuming. I can't and refuse to keep up. Some days I get tired of talking about things I sell because I don't want to add to the noise. But I love connecting with you.

I am about to offer lots of information about my holiday offerings. If you are interested, awesome, let's work together. If you are here for the stories and long inner monologues, hi, welcome to this corner of my brain. If you are not, no problem, there will be reels of Mr. Peabody looking watery eyed and adventurous for you too. 

If you don't want to hear about creativity, postcards, waterfalls or a chihuahua, I am surprised you are still here.

I'm not participating in any markets this holiday season so I made a gift guide of my offerings.

The Custom Collage Machine is back.  There are Keep Writing gift subscriptions sent with gift announcement cards and I have a new body of collage work available as fine art prints. Eulalia #4 is on its way, a few months after I told wholesalers about it.  Fitting as it is a zine all about things I have lost and gained post-concussion.

I'm going to share more about these for the next few weeks, and then I will take a break.

If you love this and know someone who might want to read ramblings like this, or might want a monthly postcard, a collage print or hear more about creative practice classes,  please this forward to them.

Then take a break too. Enjoy the people you love, cozying up, warm drinks and the good things we have.